I'm now in college and am yet again amazed at the constant changes in myself and my family. I used to be the slacker, the one tat needed to be pushed to work harder, pushed to try and give effort in school. Now I am the one who is being told that a "B" in one class is alright, when all I want is an "A." I find myself striving for perfection. Perfect grades, perfect body, I am just wanting that perfect life that I know I cannot have. Yet I always want to attempt to get there. I am trying to figure out why I am becoming such a perfectionist and so obsessive with being the best, not my best, or one of the best, but the absolute best; and I do not understand where this obsession comes from. I guess what I need is to just learn to stop and breathe. I am so obsessed with being the best, most organized, most productive, most successful, and I find myself destroying myself. I want to lead, I want to be great, but I am stuck being small, stuck being lost. I am stuck as a follower in life instead of a leader to those around me.