Weird huh?

It's funny you know, how one moment you're on top of the world and the next you're hitting the bottom of the ocean floor. I guess I never really understood why I was so akward or where my shy nature was coming from, but then I realized it. Well rather I realized what had changed in my life. All my life I had music to express everything, from soaring arpegios to resonating vibrados I had always been able to play what was in my heart and on my mind. If I was happy I could play a march or a fun tune, if I was sad I could play a slow sad piece, anger was always fun to portray because I got to be huge and strong and powerful when all I felt was small and insignificant. When I was upset all I had to do was play my trombone or piano and the rest of the world would fade away if only for a moment... but then that moment would end and I would have to come back to reality stronger and more determined to move foreward.
I remember one day, my sophomore year of highschool, I had just lost a dear friend due to a break up and me not having the self control to face him without falling apart inside. I was in the bandhall just messing around on my trombone and I was playing some durge and fell apart right there in the practice room. I had to go to the choir hall's practice room so that I could play the piano because I needed music but was crying to hard to get the air to go through my horn. I started playing a song from the movie "A Walk to Remember." It was a slow song that started off with one melody but soon added chords and harmonies and as I played, everything else faded, I didn't feel the hurt or the sadness. I felt myself being lifted and swelling and tumbling with the chord progressions and in that moment everything was perfect. But then that moment ended and I had to go back to class. I didn't know how I was going to cope, how everything would work out, all I knew was that if I could just keep it together for a few more hours I could go back to playing the piano and everything would be alright again.
I have now moved off to college and have been faced with every possible means of pain imaginable. I have bruised my lung, injured my sternum, lost a dear friend to his crazy girlfriend and that was before everything went downhill. As I am faced with many heartbreaking challenges I find myself longing to be shut into a practice room with simply a trombone and a piano. A trombone for the anger and pain, and a piano to play as I pour out my heart and empty the tears from my eyes. It's weird for me that I miss my music so much. I have never thought that I would miss music but as I look back I finally see all the little notes that music left in my heart.